Logical Fallacies and Justification

Things that make you go “HUH?!”

Some of the comments that have been left on “They should feel guilty for not breastfeeding!” are making me wonder what is going on inside some people’s heads. I’ve refused to approve several comments and unapproved a couple more that wanted to focus not on the personal behavior I was covering but on what “that big meanie over there” was doing as a justification for using those words. That’s a pretty standard derailment technique and I’ve decided I will use the moderation tools heavily on comments that want to take the conversation down a rabbit hole like that (especially if the sign over that hole says “Justification & Distraction this way –>”).

I was planning to just sit on those comments. I don’t particularly like debate, even the civil kind, and addressing them after making my point already seemed a lot like standing on the corner flagging down a debate. Don’t get me wrong, I can do it when necessary but I have many other things I prefer to spend my time on. I’d rather post to a mom and give her some help with a breastfeeding issue or spend an hour discussing breastfeeding support in action here in my corner of Mexico with my Spanish teacher and bulking up my vocabulary.

One of the things I’m coming to terms with is that I will have to step out of the safe little online world I’ve made for myself to some extent if I want to talk about the things I think need to be discussed regarding breastfeeding advocacy and breastfeeding support. Debate, in some form, will be a part of my world now. I have faith I’m going to find a balance that works for me here at this blog and I’ll go on avoiding those places that are a little too hot to handle unless they become more comfortable for me.

But I digress. Where was I? Oh, Yeah, I was sitting on comments…

and then I opened up an e-mail telling me I need to do something with this comment -

as long as there are women who say:

“So what, you breastfed your child… you think that’s special?”
“So what, you breastfed your child… want a cookie/medal/etc?”
“Who cares if you breastfed? My child is just as healthy/smart/etc as yours and I FORMULA fed them!”
“Yeah yeah – the breast is best bullshit again”
“There is nothing special or better about breastmilk over formula”

and other such ignorant and mean spirited remarks… I will continue to put out the information in a nice way until it comes to blunt aggressiveness, if someone will not admit that “Yes, I’m right and they know they didn’t make the best choice for whatever reason, etc” NOTICE THE KEY WORD CHOICE, not those who truly could not.

As long as there are women putting breastfeeding Mothers down, belittling their major accomplishment, etc… they don’t deserve mercy or a free pass on their comments, especially not from someone like me.

and I hit my tipping point because a comment like this coming as it did, after the others I’ve been sitting on, deserves a response that the comment section can’t provide.

Home training

If ever there was a situation exemplifying the saying “Two wrongs don’t make a right” this right here would be it. Justifying shitty behavior on behalf of breastfeeding support because “the other side” is guilty of similar bad behavior is a Red Herring. It’s a logical fallacy that isn’t going to get far without some major pushback from me when I recognize it for what it is here on this blog.

I don’t know about you, but as a kid my mom was forever pounding away on that point with me and my sibs. Now as a mom myself I have spent a fair amount of time over the years telling my daughters that -

• “Your little sister kicking you in the nose is not a good excuse for trying to pound her into a grease spot.”
• “Lourdes taking your crayon is not a good reason to take her coloring book.”
• “I don’t care what he called you, it is not OK to call Noah names.”
• “Your response to the situation was inappropriate. Now instead of only talking about what was wrong with your sister’s behavior we’re also talking about how your response was not OK.”

Are you seeing the parallels I am?

‘Do unto others…’

I am trying to instill in my children an appreciation of the Golden Rule (I really recommend this link even if it’s Wikipedia). You treat others with the same consideration you expect. You don’t use what you perceive as bad behavior by someone as justification for behaving poorly yourself. You don’t use words as weapons – especially if you are trying to convince someone to do something your way. Basically, I hold them to a higher standard of behavior even when they are provoked.

Since I’m that kind of mom it will come as no surprise that here, on this blog, you will not get a free pass to use a mother’s choice as an excuse to be rude, divisive, and bellicose. I will not clap you a High 5 for that. When someone is nasty to me (it doesn’t matter what the topic) I don’t use it as an excuse to go ninja on them. I name it as bad behavior no matter who is doing it and no matter what their goals. Breastfeeding advocacy is not a Zero-Sum game where someone has to win and someone has to lose and the loser has to roll over and show their belly in submission to you the superiority of your point. This, I believe, holds true even if they are mean to you. If we are expecting this of our children we can surely expect it of one another.

Tagged as: behavior, breastfeeding 101, justification, logical fallacies