The Kids

I have kids. Two young people tugging at my elbow when I’m trying to write pithy, witty stuff. Pithy and witty often turn into ppothy and whyutty with these jokesters in the area. They have little patience for the Important Things Mom Must Write Right Now!

I’m a fairly open person. I’ll talk to you about a lot of things; things that might possibility make you step away from the computer screen to search for the bleach and a fork to remove you eyes hygienically.  There are people out there who can tell you what I named the ‘rrhoid I got while pregnant with my first child, It was -

Hmmm… how about we wait for it to come up organically in conversation around here shall we? Yes? Cool!

There are some things I’ll be keeping to myself though. Pictures of me or the kids with our faces to the world are gonna be as scarce as hen’s teeth. I make no apologies about that.

You get my first name but the kids are going pseudonymous. If you happen to know my kids names please keep that information under your hat here at the blog. Thank-ye-kindly! The kids had a good time picking their names even with the restriction to a fairly unisex moniker. I think they liked the control they got in shaping their image.

The younger generation has also extracted the promise that anything about them that isn’t directly related to breastfeeding must get their jelly-stained seal of approval before publishing. I capitulated to that one with an astonishing lack of push-back. My oldest young person is hitting that age where things are getting embarrassing even when they aren’t all that embarrassment-worthy and I’d like a shot at still being on speaking terms when college is on our horizon. Kiddo-the-younger is a champion grudge holder so pissing said younger person off serves no good purpose and causes me discomfort. I prefer comfort! We hammered out an agreement and they sat more-or-less patiently with me as I put together these little biographies about them.

Stats approved by PseudonymousKids™

Derby, Wait Camo (you know, for camouflage)…..No wait! Echo! Echo? Yes, we’ve settled now -

ECHO – This decisive decision-maker is starting her second decade by living in Mexico. She’s an avid reader of books two grades below where she should be reading but we don’t complain (much) because she’ll read grade-level – reluctantly – when forced to. She’s a moderately responsible pet owner (if you don’t count losing her guinea pig in the front yard last week-end against her – which I do even though we recovered her) with a menagerie that includes Juliet “Lost One” the Guinea Pig, Comet the orange canary, Dorado the Supposed-to-be-African-Dwarf-Frog-who-turned-out-to-be-an-African-Clawed-Frog. She’s a sporty one, that Echo! She has 5 years of TaeKwonDo under her belt and 7 years of dance. We’ve got a shelf full of trophies so don’t mess with her cuz she’s not allowed to take the TKD out of the dojang unless you attack her first. Breastfeeding tidbit – Echo was weaned when she was 2.5 years old.

HARPER – Harper likes her school work – most day. She does a lot of work on her own. She can be be a foot-dragger with the homework mom assigns though. She is a wanna-be of the first degree. I mean this in the best of ways. She wants to learn to play the piano, to draw and be an artist, to read like the old ones in the house, etc. She loves to help  with the cooking and cleaning but there appears to be some type of force-field around her bedroom because THAT is always a mess. She’s a tough one. Both mentally and physically which will serve her well as an adult! She’s another moderately responsible pet owner with a tandem menagerie that includes Nibbles the Guinea Pig, Lily the yellow canary and Mango the Same-kinda-frog-as-Dorado. She shares responsibility with Echo for the family fish and Louie the loving but dopey GoldenDoodle who thinks the Guinea Pigs look like really cool squeaky toys. She’s a beginner in the worlds of TKD and dance but she’ll get her years in just like Echo.

So, those are the kiddos. I’m sure you’ll hear a lot more about them as we go on including the fact that Harper was allowed to self-wean. She chose to do this just after her fifth birthday. Cool huh?

Tagged as: 'Bout Me, kids